My Condolences...

DISCLAIMER: This may be morbid, so forgive me in advance if it seems so. It's no secret that I have always handled death in ways that most people don't understand. As a result of my "odd" behaviors, I no longer attend funerals and try not to be around others who are grieving.

This post comes with sad news. A childhood friend and sweetheart of mine was reported missing this weekend and I just received word that her body has been found. I haven't been close with her in many years, but she did come hang out for my birthday celebration this past year. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for her we never officially dated, but we were really close in Jr. High and High School. She was always such a sweetheart, strong willed, funny, and pretty damn smart.

Needless to say, I'm broken up about this news. But, I'm also a student of Japanese. This is where the morbidity may come in. As I take a break from my tears I became curious how the Japanese give condolences. I guess there is really no good time to learn this, just like there is no good time to fill out a will or get life insurance. It's simply a morbid and often unpleasant topic. But learning is a coping mechanism. And for me, studying is helping ease the pain a bit.

I learned 2 phrases.

ご愁傷様でございます。 (ごしゅうしょうさまございます)

and

心よりお悔やみ申しあげます。(こころよりおくやみもうしあげます)\

The first (ご愁傷様でございます) is kind of weird from an American worldview. It just kinda acknowledges that someone is grieving. This is the polite form you use with someone who is not in your family.

The second(心よりお悔やみ申しあげます） means "condolences from the bottom of my heart" basically (more literally, condolences rise from my heart). I believe this one is ok to use for family or friends, but is maybe too informal for strangers.

In any case, I had to learn that and write this out to kind of deal with what's going on right now. I know it's morbid, but it helps.